My Photoshop May be Possessed by a Teenage Creeptard

Hello again, hypothetical reader!  I’m really excited to be writing a blog!

Today, I would like to make an observation.  It’s about Photoshop.  I freaking love Photoshop, and I spend a lot of time on it doing serious painting and just-for-fun photo edits, as well as the silhouettes I’m making for this place.  

Maybe I’ll post a few of my better paintings sometime, but for now, I’m just going to finally get around to the observation I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

Is it just me, or does my Photoshop program really have the attitude of a 13 year old metalhead pervert kid? 

I say this because it feels to me that almost half the time I randomly re-size a brush, it ends up being one of two numbers: 69, or 666. This happens like, all the fucking time. 

I’ve been trying to think of rational explanations, like maybe I’m the pervert and metalhead (I'm not a satanist in any way, but still, repeated numbers do stand out) and I’m projecting.  But like Neil Oliver said in Interstate 60, that’s just another way of saying I’m seeing things.

Except I’m not.  Really – it took me a while to notice in the first place.  I noticed it once or twice, but thought nothing of it.  Then it happened more frequently, and I became suspicious.  It ended up slowly dawning on me that, in fact, the program had the maturity of a 13 year old male child. 

Here's the way I see this going:

Since the program seems to be secretly raiding my stash of metal, it decides to play a prank on me, which is why this happens:

And conversely, we see this:

Which has this effect: 

So probably I'm crazy, but unsurprisingly, so is the rest of the world.  All I can do is hope my Photoshop doesn't age.  That would be very bad, no way around it.  It might go through an uber depressed stage, and then go back to being perverted, and then I'll have to help it deal with girl trouble.  

Then finally - finally - after years of putting up with its adolescent bullshit, it will gain some fucking maturity.  

By which time I will probably have to buy a new Photoshop. 

*Note from the rational part of my brain: ridiculously stupid speculation doesn’t count as lying.*